Weekend in Kinshasa

A little more from the Weekend


As we drove back from the Kinshasa airport in the dark to the Greene’s house Friday night, it was a strange feeling but I immediately felt as if I was back in Manila, Philippines, in my high school years, as if I had time-travelled and lapsed back to my memories of growing up. In the dark it’s almost impossible to tell that you’re not in the Philippines, the landscape, shops, buildings, signs, traffic, millions of people all over the place, etc., is very much the same in Kinshasa as Manila. Only in the daytime can you tell you’re in Africa instead of the Philippines. I feel very much at home here, though I wouldn’t want to walk around certain parts of town alone as a tall white guy here anymore than I would certain parts of Manila (but even less so here because I don’t know any of the language or culture).


I especially feel at home here because my hospitable and gracious guests the Greenes have made me feel at home and more than a part of their family, an honored guest. The missionary community is a real family here, and actually on this street many American families are close-knit geographically as next-door neighbors. The missionary families that all live next to each other (Wards, Greenes, Grings, and Clancy clan staying with Grings as they prepare to train pastors in the Congo interior Lord-willing next year) have been a great blessing to get to know. They have also been a big encouragement and help to this new non-African non-French-speaking non-shaved guy with non-luggage to get acclimated to this new world and prepared for the next week where I will be non-accompanied most of the time, solo with Matteus downtown. I can’t imagine trying to do this trip alone while Didier is in another country, but God predestinated and orchestrated exactly what was needed in His all-seeing providence.


How did we get connected with these Americans in Kinshasa? When Didier and Stuart were in Kinshasa in July, a woman from Stuart’s church “just happened” to be in the same small online Christian forum for women called HK, and posted something about Stuart being in Congo and the Greene family gave their information and managed to get in touch with Stuart and Didier and had them over to their place. Another lady from another part of the U.S. who is adopting from the same orphanage as us also “just happened” to be in that group of 100-some ladies … one of those “small world” moments that could also be called “big God” moments.


Stuart and Didier were both very blessed by their time together and Stuart recommended if I’m in Kinshasa I should see if I could connect with the Greenes for help or fellowship. Being the gracious hospitable people they are, they not only gave me advice over email, but Mike Greene offered me to stay with them, and since I didn’t have much time to make reservations for my first weekend before starting my downtown business next week, I took him up on his offer for the first 3 days in Kinshasa. Little did I know, his adult daughter Bethany had been following our blog and didn’t know I was staying with them until shortly before I pulled into their compound Friday!


What about the missionaries across the street? When I was here the Greene’s said all their neighbors knew who I was. How, I wondered? The other 3 families actually met my parents and family at missions conferences in Idaho (Boise area) years ago, when I was a scrawny shorter guy. It’s really neat how God does things like that in our lives so many years ago, and I could write a whole blog post about how hopelessly lost I would be in this city if it weren’t for these people God has brought back into my life at just the right time to help me and the newest member of the Layton family. It makes me want to sing “He’s a Big God after all” to the tune of a Disneyland song.


Some firsts:
- First time I gave my new son a bath Sunday night at the Greene’s. He stood content in the tub as I soaped him down and hosed him off – I think he’s used to bathing now, but when Mama Angelique bathed him his first day at the orphanage he cried, which made us wonder if he’d ever had a bath before.

- First time Matteus did a bowl movement since the guest house incident Friday (3 and ½ days later). Without his regular “toilet” (which is still with my missing luggage) he hasn’t been wanting to go to the bathroom on an American toilet and instead just goes in his diaper, but I’m glad he at least went kukoyola. I will try to re-potty-train him once I have his “potty” bowl next week as diapers are super-expensive here, as are all baby products. No picture for this one.


- First time I got Matteus to take a nap was Monday (previously he zonked out in church and right before our delayed flight Friday and missed the much-anticipated airplane ride he had been talking about all week, but he’ll have plenty other chances to experience them before he lands on U.S. soil). Here he is napping. It's hard to tell from the angle of this pic, but his body is down while his arm is in mid-air as if to give an elbow high five Jose Canseco style.

Lots of Pics!!

Sunday Pics




Here are some miscellaneous pictures of sights in Kinshasa.



Various Congolese restrooms

Leaping Lizard

This one leaped up on the wall while I was following it



Here are some more spiritual quick pics for today. Great Lord’s Day with some great missionaries in the Congo. Matteus and I left home at 8:15 and got back from church at 2:30 … long day for a little guy who got a little fussy and super sweaty (it was about 100 degrees with humidity today).



Congolese pastor giving introduction to church service

 New visitors standing and introducing themselves at church (several Americans and 2 Congolese visitors). All 4 of the American families at church have adopted children.

Front row Baptists

New missionary Sparky Clancy preaching as guest speaker with Dan Grings translating

Matteus will already fit in at Gold Country Baptist, sleeping in service (no offense to Sparky or Dan who did a great job!)

Man giving testimony in communion service

Meeting a real hero of the faith, 91-year-old missionary Grandpa Bob Grings who has spent numerous decades in the country and plans to die here serving the Lord (many in the congregation know this may be his last Sunday – he is evidently looked up to by all as a father in the faith)

On Lord’s Day afternoons the Greene’s host a Bible study in their yard for street boys which includes a soccer game afterwards

Bethany Greene and Matteus

Matteus practicing “cheese”

                                                  (My favorite pic of my boy, I miss that smile)


The Greene family, our gracious hosts this weekend

I am Home!!

Mom got back to CA last night.  Unlike dad, all my flights went smoothly, as scheduled, and I even got my bags.  I can't believe all that has happened in one week.  As I sat in church this morning I kept thinking, has it only been one week?  This is all the same, and I am so changed.

In one week I took 10 flights, traveled over 60 hours, met my new son, hugged, played, loved as many sweet little ones as I could, met fellow brothers and sisters that I couldn't communicate with, but had a joint fellowship with.  I met four deaf Congolese in the airport, and we communicated easily in sign language (which was my major at Cal State Northridge). They had many questions about life in America.  I tried to paint a different picture than the only one they'd ever known of wealth and prosperity, but I told them of the greed and immorality. At first they asked if I could help them get to America, but then they decided maybe they would be happy to stay where they are.  One of the ladies told me she would name her next child "Jaime".  I signed more in one hour than I have in five years. Overall, the flights were long, but the days were blessed.  It was a great week! 

Congo is not the scary place I thought it might be.  I loved the people, the vibrant colors, the smiling children.  I loved holding my sweet boy, playing with the children in the orphanage, laughing with Didier (about so many funny things Phil would do).  It was great to meet the judge and Bourgemaster and others who helped aid in our 3 week adoption (yes, only 3 weeks in counrty!)  It was an experience I will always treasure, and I am thankful I can share the details with Matteus, one day. 

Thank you for all your love, prayer and support for me and my family.  My kids were very happy to see me!  Ella said, "I have never missed you before."  I told her it was good that she wanted me to come back! :)

So, as Phil continues the process of adoption in Kinshasa for Matteus, please continue to pray for all the details of that.  I am recovering from jet-lag and getting ready to jump back into the business of life here. But for now, I am ready to take a nap!

Things Don’t Always Go Smoothly in Congo

On Friday morning we awoke after our first night sleeping in the same room with Matteus and noticed he wasn’t on his mattress on the floor. He was sleeping on the floor on the carpet and seemed content! I found out Saturday morning he rolls around a LOT.

On Friday morning was my first daddy practice going solo with our 20-month-old and I thought I would sit him on his Congolese porta-pot. Actually it’s just a medium sized bowl that they fill with water and sit on the floor. I had tried the night before to get him to go kuyamba (Swahili word you’ll figure out in a moment). That morning he did a good kuyamba and as I picked him up off his pot, his pot was stuck to his bottom and it came up with him and spilled all over the floor of the guest house making a ginormous mess! Where is Jaime when you need her? I quickly ran to the door of the guest house, and blessing of blessings, Jaime was already walking back from the orphanage! “Honey, come quick!!” Thankfully she did and we teamed up to clean up the mess.

I have been so glad Jaime was able to come with me to Congo for many deeper reasons but I especially was glad for my helpmate for times like that. Later I tried to get him to go kukoyola and also had an accident with the other one, too, as a rookie with the Congolese porta-pot system. Hopefully I will get a better handle on this now that Jaime is gone because this stinks when I don’t (pardon the pun).

Friday afternoon another thing that went wrong was my flight was delayed 2 hours. Then after flying about an hour the plane landed and the stewardess said a bunch of stuff in French and I got off the plane with some other people (not all were getting off). I thought just to make sure I should ask someone on the tarmac if we were in Kinshasa … thankfully I found out we weren’t in time to get back on the plane or this would have been a real bummer of a post if I was in the wrong city waiting till the next day for my next flight.

I’m still not quite sure what went wrong with my luggage or why it didn’t make it to Kinshasa with me, but after a long time at the airport and a super long time sitting in traffic we made it to our host home. For carry-on I just had a small backpack and laptop bag and Matteus, which kept my hands plenty full. Wouldn’t you know that Jaime took my small carry-on suitcase home and so I didn’t have the carry-on suitcase I normally keep my toiletries, underwear, socks, etc., and am still not sure as of Saturday night when I will have that. Another missionary spent several hours with me going downtown, getting stuck in some of the worst traffic I’ve seen in my life, to try to talk to the travel service to track down my luggage, and we’re still waiting to hear back on my duffel bag with all my and Matteus’ stuff for the next 3 weeks.

Saturday afternoon we were playing softball with a bunch of missionaries and I had a terrible at-bat where I not only hit the ball incredibly poorly, but to add insult to injury, I got an injury when I started to run to first base. After 36 years of life, many of which I played organized sports daily, for the first time in my life I pulled a hamstring in my first couple steps! If you’ve heard of Murphy’s Law, I think there is also something called “Congo’s Law – if there’s something that can go wrong, it probably will … in Congo.”

This is a pretty inconvenient time to be limping around, hardly able to walk, when I need to be walking all around town next week. But in God’s Providence (orchestrating all things, big or small, bad or good, according to His will, Eph. 1:11) there have been evidences of grace in the midst of all these as well.

When you’re nearly 6’6” it’s a little hard to borrow clothes and it’s a little embarrassing asking to borrow deodorant or athletic shorts for underwear, but our gracious hosts the Greene family (missionaries) have been so wonderful to me and Matteus in the last 24 hours. I praise God he has allowed me to be with them this weekend rather than on my own next week. He has also kindly provided me with a warm shower, clothes from others, toothpaste, toothbrush, and even some diapers and kids clothes just my son’s size from a neighbor with a 2-year old!

In God’s Providence, my parents sent an email out to their supporters asking them to pray for me travelling to Kinshasa for adoption, and one of their supporters emailed them about dear friends of theirs who are missionaries in Kinshasa and said I should get in touch with them to see if they can help. Right before we left America this couple emailed back and they have already been a big help … and amazingly, they live right across the street from the Greenes! The world says, “wow, it’s a small world.” Christians should say, “wow, it’s a Big God we have!” Christians should instantly think of Providence and our God who moves in mysterious ways.

Our extra travel time Friday was actually a blessing in that it was extra time for me and Matteus to bond. His deep dark eyes looked into mine for hours as I had him in my front-pack chest-to-chest (baby carrier with straps). Travelling into town today with the Greene’s neighbor was also a blessing to be able to ride with a man who knows the ins and outs of Congo, works for the embassy, has adopted himself 2 Congolese boys, has a wife who was born and raised here, and whose family has had missionaries in this country since 1917! If anyone can help me get my luggage from the Twilight Zone of CAA Airlines, it’s them. Our big God moves in mysterious ways.

As we talked with the Travel Service, they said for them to find and deliver my lost bag would cost $50 (I only brought $30 with me but didn’t tell them that). This missionary then put his wife on the phone with this lady at the travel service and she was amazed how well the missionary wife spoke fluently her native dialect, and she said, “Ok, for my white sister, I will say only $30.” Exactly what I had in my pocket and paid gladly and will be glad when I see my bag! My leg hurts pretty bad but my stomach is full with wonderful pizza and lasagna and noodles courtesy of Mrs. Greene, and my son has been such a joy and the life of the party to everyone today, and I have to rejoice in that though today didn’t follow my script. I also need to be thankful for inconveniences and situations that remind me of my inadequacy (like a fish out of water in this French-speaking world) so that I pray more and lean on the only One who is adequate.

Please join with me in praying:

• I will see my bag with all my stuff before I leave the Greene’s Monday morning
• That my torn or pulled muscle won’t hamstring my downtown plans next week carrying around my son to several appointments
• That the visa process I hope to begin Monday morning will proceed very quickly
• That my beloved bride will arrive home safe and sound in California Saturday night and that God will give her much grace with her husband being gone another 20 days or so

Me and Matteus hanging out at the Greenes, lining up “motor-kars” and being introduced to these fascinating green men

Me and Matteus sticking together while Didier and I part ways for next 10 days

Saturday night live starring Matteus as comedian and entertainer

Pre-injury softball pic

Ditto

A sub ready to fill in for the injured center-fielder

Father and son with a backpack almost as big as him

Matteus excited to see American football for the first time

Ready for bed after a full day

Wouldn’t you know it, right when I finished preparing those pics and saved this blog, the power went out, quite appropriately to match the title of the blog! But God in His grace let me send this using an alternate power source before going to bed. Things don’t always go smoothly in Congo, but all things always go according to God’s will or Providence (Ephesians 1:11).

A Recap of Amazing Grace – The Last 3 Weeks

This blog was written by Phil late Thursday in Congo, but wasn’t posted till later in America, as Jaime and Phil are travelling Friday.

Last Saturday, I posted a blog entitled “A Month Ago.” If you haven’t read that one yet, it might be good to read that one first. Exactly a month ago today (9/6), was the day when a little guy was placed in my arms. This same little guy today (10/6) has been placed in my family! The legal documents take effect as of Monday, but that doesn’t mean this process is or has been smooth sailing – it just means we have a great God at the helm of this voyage guiding us through these waters.

John Newton who was a sailor for many years on a slave ship before Christ saved him, wrote in his most famous hymn Amazing Grace: 

“Through many dangers, toils, and snares, 

I have already come

‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far 

and grace will lead me home.”

My last Sunday in Congo (September 4) at church I sang that song as special music with Josie and Gabe and Didier. Since then that song has been replaying in my experience, and that line in particular has become my anthem as I trust in daily grace and Future Grace (a phrase John Piper has written a whole book on). What are some of the dangers, toils, and snares I have already come through?

Right before my first trip to Congo the darkness of the death of my son was the storm I had to pass through. My original voyage to Congo in August came through a literal storm as well, Hurricane Irene which delayed our first trip a full day, but ‘grace hath brought me safe …’ On our return trip from DRC in September we heard word that morning that we were to drive to the airport for our flight home that 1,000 rebel forces had been let out of local jail (the morning we were about to drive through town not knowing what to expect on the road … good for your prayer life!). That ended up not being a problem but we did both get detained from our original flights for other reasons, as you know if you’ve been reading this blog. Then on our final flight home we were coming out of D.C. on the anniversary of 9/11 when security was on high alert for terrorist threat for D.C. and New York! But as Spurgeon once said, God’s sovereignty is the pillow on which we can lay our head at night. I chose not to share all that at the time so as not to unnecessarily alarm mothers reading the blog … but when you know and trust the God of Providence that Newton knew so well you can join him in saying:

“Through many dangers, toils, and snares, I have already come

‘Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far and grace will lead me home.”

 

 

Is Congo safe? No, and neither is California in certain parts – in any place there are places you don’t go. But as we trust the Lord and follow His guiding hand of Providence with faith and wisdom there is no safer place to be than in God’s grace anywhere on planet earth.

What are some of the things His grace has brought us through just in the last 3 weeks? Here are some of the potential toils and snares through which we’ve already come recently:

1. In the last 3 weeks we learned that court costs for us to re-adopt this second time would be several thousand dollars higher than our first adoption, and that the tax benefits for adoption were changing in 2012 in such a way that would prevent us from being able to adopt next year for complicated reasons. We also learned we needed to have our adoption complete in Congolese and U.S. Courts even sooner than we originally thought, and the normal adoption finalization process in the U.S. with social workers, court dates, etc., also we were not sure was possible for us 3 weeks ago, but we continued to pray.
2. In the last 3 weeks we also found out the courts in Congo were on strike and might continue to be for many weeks which could effectively stall and prevent further our chances of completing an adoption in 2011, but we continued to pray.
3. In the last 3 weeks we were also informed by a U.S. official that travelling in Congo after the elections (late November or December, the very time I had prayed to be able to travel to Kinshasa) would not be safe for Americans, another seeming door-closer for our narrow window of hopes to complete an adoption in 2011. Additionally, Didier would be out of the country in the 2^nd week of October and was planning on coming to America from late October to early December, so even if I could come to Congo for 2-3 weeks for adoption, without Didier as escort and no one else in his church driving or speaking in English … well, you get the idea. But we continued to pray.
4. In the last 3 weeks we also heard of a situation in the country that I can’t fully share here that potentially threatened the future of the orphanage and adoptions. But we continued to pray.
5. 3 weeks ago even if we didn’t have the above challenges on timeline, we had no idea how we could financially pull off a second adoption after our first loss. But we continued to pray.

3 weeks ago our earnest prayer was that God might allow us to adopt Matteus before the end of this year if it was His will and that His will might become clear soon. This prayer began to be answered faster than we could ask or think (as Ephesians 3:20 says God is able to do).

As we prayed regarding #1 above, further research determined that some of the higher court costs are for those who have not completed a U.S. homestudy investigation and when parents do not appear in DRC before the adoption judgment. So we began to research the opportunity of Jaime travelling to DRC which not only saved some money but also expedites the adoption for both Congolese and American governments when both parents have seen the child before judgment, and makes the adoption final when you enter the States rather than scrambling to complete in U.S. court before end of the year.

As we prayed regarding #2 and #3 above, the Judge and his staff in God’s Providence (longer story than I can share here) were able to still complete our case by God’s grace and favor, even though most other cases have come to a grinding halt with the political situation. Didier said in his country this is truly a miracle. The fact that we have adoption judgment as of October 10, just in time for our tight timeline, for me to go to Kinshasa (the capitol) to complete the process while Didier is in Zambia, and then to come back to meet him and possibly travel back to the States with Didier and Matteus at the end of this month before the political situation becomes problematic in November and the country effective shuts down … all this can only be explained by the predestinating orchestrating God of Ephesians 1:11, the God who Proverbs says holds the hearts of kings in His hand like channels of water and can turn it whichever way He wishes. God has turned the hearts of a number beyond what I can share in a brief blog, by His sheer grace which I have found more amazing through this journey, and trust His grace will lead me home.

As we prayed regarding #4 above, God moved in mysterious ways and allowed us to unique opportunities to minister and has done some amazing things that I hope to be able to share sometime in the future. Again as with the loss of our son, there was potential on another front for great discouragement or depression by Didier and the orphanage community, but this dreaded cloud also had mercy behind it. Jaime and I have been able to minister in unique ways in light of this, which is one of the reasons God comforted us in our tribulations (2 Cor. 1:3-5). On Thursday Didier shared how very happy and very encouraged Annie was and Mama Angelique at the orphanage and others to continue in the ministry, knowing how much their American Christian church family loves them and has shown kindness to them in gifts, cards, prayers, etc.

As we prayed regarding #5 (sometimes not with as much faith as we should) God opened the floodgates of heaven. Without any fund-raising or even letting people know specifics of needs for our trip, within 3 days of booking our flights, God provided through gracious gifts that exactly covered all our airfare! No one knew the amount but us and God!! We have experienced afresh the truth of Philippians 4, and would encourage you to read that chapter to be encouraged further. Some of our needs (v. 19) were not just financial but practical and logistical that God provided, like how on short notice were able to get tickets and cover all the bases to do all that needed to be done. That could be its own other post … and maybe will be when I have time, evidences of grace in God’s Providence over the last 2 weeks alone.

Just in the last 24 hours alone, God’s grace was so evident as we left early in the morning and got all our papers done at the very close of the business day! Didier originally was going to run into town in the morning and then come back for us later but since we were up early, he said we can go together. Which was a good thing in God’s providence and foresight, because the extra hour it would have taken him with the original plan wouldn’t have left us enough time to get everything done before our trips tomorrow. But God in His sovereign superintending care gives us just enough grace for each day, so that we keep trusting Him each day and so that our trust in Him grows for tests of faith in the future.

[Quick update from Friday night in Kinshasa: Matteus and I arrived on a turbulent flight but unfortunately our luggage did not. Please pray that it will arrive tomorrow as I packed light since I had my son on my lap and only our most essential baby stuff and documents but no change of clothes for me after a hot sweaty day, no toothbrush, fresh undergarments, etc. But we’re here at least and Jaime is on her way home to arrive Saturday in CA Lord-willing]

There are still potential toils and snares still to come in Kinshasa … our biggest prayer request is that we can get our passport for Matteus processed ASAP next week (Lord-willing by Wednesday 10/12) in our super tight timeframe, because if it is not done before we meet at the embassy our timeline could get delayed more than 2 weeks. But as we pray and then do all we can, we sing more fully from hearts of faith:

“Tis grace that’s brought [us] safe thus far, and grace will lead [us] home”

In the Air Again

Lord willing, Jaime has already left Lubumbashi to begin the looong trip back home. 

Please keep her in your prayers all day today and tomorrow!

And,
Lord willing, Phil and Matteus left for Kinshasa today as well.
Pray for their safety while traveling,
for wisdom and direction from the Lord regarding US Embassy matters, 
and for provision for transportation, lodging, English-speaking folks, and so forth.


Thanks!

Lubumbashi, Day 3 (Thursday)

THURSDAY MORNING:
MOUSsion Accomplished

 




THURSDAY EVENING:
Act of Adoption Received!

Exactly one month ago:
Phil met Matteus for the first time.

Today (Thursday 10/6):
Jaime and Phil hold Matteus together in country as their legal son,
effective Monday 10/10.

The tagline verse of our blog says it all:
"God has done great things for us 
and we are filled with joy!" 
Psalm 126:3

Amen!

Lubumbashi Day 2 (Wednesday)

Today was a beautiful day with my husband and a little guy who the legal documents say is now our son! The rainy season has begun here in Lubumbashi. Which makes it a little muggy, but the breeze does not bring the sand storms because the ground is wet. But more on the “our son” part.

We had many things to do today. Didier left early with Matteus to get his passport and visa picture taken. It’s the cutest picture. Didier also needed a picture taken because Didier is applying for a visa also to hopefully come to the states soon. Later, Phil, Didier and I went to see the Judge. It was a very good visit with him. He is the “president” judge over all children cases. It makes him very happy to help us adopt Matteus because most of his other work is very sad. We explained that it is the same in America. At our local court they do adoptions once a month, it is the only happy day that month, the rest of the days are spent on heart breaking cases. He was happy to give us our adoption judgment, and we were very happy for all his help!

Below is our attorney who was also present to sign docs with other required witnesses. Praise the Lord for the favor and kindness He has shown us by these men who are Christians and who want to help these precious fatherless children, which is something so consistent with our Christian religion (James 1:27).

Tomorrow we hope to get our Adoption Deed (Acte d'Adoption), which we need to have by next week for the embassy, and one other document Didier thinks we can complete tomorrow. He will be off to Zambia next week so your prayers that we can get everything done are appreciated.

Today when we were stopped at a red light the police man approached Didier and started talking to him very passionately. Didier laughed, rolled up the window, and drove away. We asked him what was said. He said, “I don’t even know. I think he smoked something because he made no sense. It is a very bad thing when the police are drunk or do drugs at work.” [Phil’s P.S. It was a reminder to us to be thankful of America, as much as Americans complain about authorities over them, we should praise God for the Romans 13 authorities He has ordained. Our government is not perfect, but when you have seen other countries governments as much as I have, what so much of the world is like, you realize how blessed we are and how thankful we should be]

The rest of the day had many stops and errands. I was warned by Phil before I came that everything takes a long time here, and even when you go out to do a quick errand, it is never quick. Virtually everything Didier has done since dawn till after dusk has been to help us with things related to our adoption, and now it is late and he is going out for the 4^th time today to get coal for his family. His is a very faithful tireless servant who does not complain but gives himself fully to the Lord’s work. He told us in Congo if you can do something today, get it done, or it may take too long tomorrow (a different attitude from many of us Americans who always put off for tomorrow what we aren’t doing today. He told us he can sleep peacefully tonight knowing it is all done. He is such a sacrificial others-centered servant, but we are glad he will be getting a break from all this work when we leave Friday (me to the U.S., Phil with Matteus to the capitol of Congo for 10-11 days).

Below is what the coal looks like that they use here (costs them $70-80 a month for cooking). Not the pickup truck you want to tailgate too closely while driving!

The people here work so hard. Mama Angelique, taking care of the children, feeding and bathing them each day. Annie, taking care of her children, us, and everyone else, and running a small business in her home selling things on the side to help make ends meet. The women have to wash everything by hand. No washers, no dryers, no dishwashers (except the human kind) … they don’t even have an oven to cook in. But the food she cooked us for dinner tonight was magnificent. They didn’t kill the fattened calf but we did get the African equivalent, fattened goat in some incredible sauce! Such hospitable people these Congolese Christians are, and such examples to us Americans in their hospitality and kindness. They welcomed us to their chapel service tonight (mid-week prayer and praise with about a half-hour message by Peter, who is very passionate and seems to be a very good pastor and shepherd of these saints). I think Peter was preaching on Jesus’ words in Matthew 11:28-30, which seemed to be a very timely message for these dear saints, in light of the above paragraph:

Come to Me, all who labor [or are weary] and heavy-laden, 
and I will give you rest. 
Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, 
for I am gentle and humble and lowly in heart, 
and you will find rest for your souls. 
For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.

Peter definitely has a gentle spirit like his Lord. It was a blessing to be around other humble lowly-hearted people who have found rest for their souls in Christ, who has taken the heavy burden of sin. Many of these mothers who labor so hard each day, as they carried their little children to the chapel service and their burdens to Jesus that evening, it seemed we saw this passage fulfilled on their faces that hour, as they were refreshed in the Lord. They greeted us with joy and smiling faces after the service, with the joy of the Lord as their strength. God has yoked these dear believers to a new Master who is gentle and does not give more burden than they can bear. As they take His yoke upon them and learn from Him, we can learn from them as well (and I think we already are).

I told Phil that I am surprised that I have not been stared at more here. In the Philippines people stare, laugh, point, and then call all their friends to come stare, laugh and point. People here will look, but when you look at them they look away. I also expected to be approached more to buy things, but we have been left alone.

We didn’t get to see Matteus until after 4. He was very happy to see us. The kids were given some of the gifts we brought. The jump ropes, light-up balls, and punching balloons were a big hit! (Thanks P’s!!)

After dinner is when we took Matteus to the evening church service where he sat content to play with Phil’s watch and touch Phil’s face and hair. It was a special moment where he touched every part of Phil’s face then his face in the same spot, my facial hair and the hair on his head – almost as if to see that we truly are the same, and he seemed satisfied. Later we tried to sneak out of the orphanage around his bedtime, but he knew what we were up to and started crying. We are planning on keeping him with us 24/7 starting tomorrow night. So, thankful that he already feels attached to us and sad for us to leave him (it was sad for me to leave him too!).

Gabe, Josie, and Stuart… Phil said there has been some home improvements since you were here. There is now a light in the bathroom. Amazing what a light bulb can do for when you need to use the facilities! Thanks to Bob also, Didier is running a wire to his house from the generator thanks to Bob Wheatley’s prompting. Last night when I went in their house the kids were watching a Barbie movie, The Nutcracker, one of our girls favorites. [Phil here: we need to get them some better movies!]

Tonight Phil went to start the generator (they have a generator that they run each night for a few hours of electricity), when he pulled the rope it broke off the pull-handle and the rope spun inside the generator. So Phil and I attempted to fix this ourselves in the dark with no real tools. I found a “rat tail comb” (no, not the mouse in the guest house, for those of you who don’t know what that is, it’s the comb with a pointy end) and Phil found an all purpose tool. We worked at it for a few minutes with no success. Pastor Peter came out saw what we were doing and basically tried the same thing. I then remembered that there was wire hanger in our room. I almost had it when Peter returned with Emory, the handyman, who had the key to the shed with the tools. He had it fixed in less than 5 minutes and here we sit with most of the comforts of the world: a light, a computer, and a refrigerator (until the generator gets turned off). 

We are getting ready for bed, Phil is getting ready to catch the mouse tonight, killing all the bugs around the light with a flip-flop, and trying to find “Jiminy” our bathroom cricket. We are struggling to stay awake… it’s 8:40 pm. 

One of Phil’s posts was called “Last Sunset in Africa … for now.” Here is the sequel to that picture, latest sunset with Jaime and Matteus.

A comment about comments...

If you're having trouble leaving comments, try selecting "Anonymous" in the pull-down menu below the comments box. Phil & Jaime are very encouraged by your words!

Day One in Lubumbashi (at least for Jaime)

ALL our flights went very smoothly! It is a LONG trip to the other side of the world!! Ours was Sacramento to Long Beach to D.C. to Ethiopia to Malawi to Lubumbashi!! All with long and short layovers in between.

Lubumbashi airport was no problem. Didier has a friend who met us and took us through customs. All 5 of our bags were accounted for and nothing seems to be missing. Praise the Lord! If you have been reading this blog in past weeks, you understand how big of a praise this is, for things like this we take for granted in America.

When we got to the car Matteus was waiting for us. He recognized Phil and said, “I go with them.” He was content to sit on my lap the entire way home. He talked almost the entire time, I wish I knew what he was saying, but for the most part it was a running commentary on every “moto-ka” (motor car) we passed. He loves them! A definite boy! This will be good when we get home, he will have no problem getting in our van and going away with us. We don’t know if he ever rode in a car before Didier picked him up a month ago. We wonder what he will think when Friday he and his dad go to l’aeroport to board one of this big flying things to go to the capitol?

He is a very sweet boy, I could tell he loved the one-on-one attention because when we got back into the orphanage he became very quiet. When we were leaving he started to cry, so of course I had to bring him with me!!

He sat content on my lap while we ate dinner (he had already eaten.) Didier told us to only give him small amounts at a time. The children were so used to being hungry that now they do not know when to stop eating. They are so well cared for here. Three full meals, and lots of love.

The children were enamored with my blonde hair, blue eyes and many freckles and moles on my skin. Each took a turn petting my hair and arms and giggling with delight and saying “soft”. They probably would have touched my blue eyes if I’d let them. They are a happy bunch, we held, tickled and just loved them. They all remembered Papa Phil and were excited to see him.

God granted us a good rest (minus the perpetual mouse sounds). Phil got up more than once after midnight with a big stick ready to smash any intruders, but alas … no sightings of the phantom rodent. He said the game is on, tonight! The guest house is actually quite nice, many more western touches than any other home in the area, and our gracious and hospitable hosts do such much to make us feel at home. We do feel at home here.

This morning we are going to meet with the judge at his office and later should receive the court judgment, at the end of the day Lord-willing. More on that later, but for now we know you’re anxious for us to stop writing so you can see pictures so here you go!

Sweethearts in the sky

Landing in Lubumbashi

First few moments with Mama Jaime

Matteus happy to sit on Mama’s lap for hours. We’re not sure who’s more happy – us to be with him or Matteus happy to see so many “motorcars”:)

Matteus giggling (last time Phil was here he couldn’t get him to smile … this time the sweet guy is smiling a lot along with the other new kids to the orphanage who have already changed so much with the loving environment here)

Arriving in Africa Soon

We left mid-Sunday afternoon for Sacramento airport, and are finally touching down in Africa in Ethiopia at 7:45 a.m. Tuesday, Ethiopia time. Our layover is brief (thankfully after a 7-hour layover in Washington D.C.) and just one more 6-hour flight that goes through Lilongwe and arrives in Congo at 2:20 p.m. Tuesday Congo time. It’s kind of weird for me to retrace my steps from this exact same journey just 5 weekends ago under different circumstances, but I come with a joyful heart this time, and am so glad I’m coming with my sweetheart Jaime! On my first trip I sure missed my bride as I sat “alone” (at least not with people I knew, as Josie and Gabe’s seats weren’t right next to mine) but this time I feel complete with my perfect complement and helpmeet and best friend by my side, holding my hand, sleeping on my lap, snuggling, cuddling, eating out with me – it’s like one big date without kids, almost a 2nd honeymoon :) Ok, so the food and lack of sleep and lodging in the African may not be the most romantic, but still … no person I would rather be with than my favorite person on the planet!

We don’t often get to spend this kind of time together continuously, and I’ve calculated we’ll be with each other for at least 120 hours in a row before Jaime flies back Friday, which by then will probably be enough for her :) We will be apart again for nearly 3 more weeks after Jaime leaves while I stay to complete the process, so we’re making up for lost time in advance. To be together without interruptions from kids or distractions from our digital world for a few days is a gift we thank God for.

But of course this is not a vacation from kids – it’s a trip we’re on because we have a heart for kids beyond our culture! A sleep-deprived journey with snoring garlic-breath guys next to you can actually be a blessing in the end because it is taking us to a place where we will get to see kids when we land in Congo, the beautiful kids and people that Jaime has known by face for months, she will soon see in person. She’s especially eager to see a little short kid who just turned 20 months while we were flying to Africa (birthday 2/3/2010)! She got to hear him jabber on the phone almost exactly 4 weeks ago, and now she’ll get to meet him face-to-face and hear him jabber in Swahili in person. Last month was a bitter-sweet month for Jaime and me, and mixed emotions are to be expected, I’m sure, and it’s difficult to know what’s going in this little guy’s mind, but we look forward to this journey with him, whatever that looks like in God’s providence.

Though we miss our other kids in America very much, we are so thankful they are in good hands with my sister Lisa and other friends from church, and we are grateful for this time to bond as husband and wife and with family in Congo, those who are already our family spiritually. Family is a precious thing, I have been learning in many ways in recent days, including non-biological family and spiritual family. Perhaps as soon as Wednesday, one more little guy will become a part of our family legally!

Awkward Moments We Plan to Avoid This Time

This won't be the most spiritual entry but is a blog Phil wrote up to share a month ago about his initial trip through D.C. and Ethiopia to Congo, that never made it to last month's blog somehow. Gabe told his version of these accounts on his blog, and Phil is posting his rendition now as awkward moments they plan to avoid the second time as we’re travelling the same route and talking with people about our trip.

Awkward Moment #1. As the Laytons and Wilmarths were checking out of our hotel in D.C. on 8/28 to head to the airport, Gabe and I were shuttling 11 or 12 bags on a hotel rolling cart into the elevator, and a nice lady joins us in the elevator. “Wow, those are a lot of bags,” she says in a British accent. “Yes,” I explain, “most of this isn’t ours – we’re bringing gifts to an orphanage in Africa.” She smiles and makes a nice comment in small talk, and then Gabe adds smiling “yeah, we’re adopting twins.” She looks at me and I smile too instinctively, and she looks at both of us and doesn’t seem as excited for Gabe as I thought she would (I think she said something like “ohhh, ok”). Only after she exited the elevator did I later think why she seemed so … awkward.

Awkward Moment #2. In Ethiopia while we’re waiting in line at the airport the next day, we strike up a conversation with 2 African men from 2 different African countries about their different languages and cultures, and we tell them this is our first time in Africa. One of the men comments that he can tell some ladies who passed by were Kenyan, and then Josie naturally and innocently asks, “Oh, maybe you can tell me, why is it Ethiopian women have thin and smooth hair and black women from other African countries have … well thicker hair, that’s not as smooth … but it’s also beautiful,” she quickly added. Both of the somewhat gruff-looking men stared expressionless at her, and neither said a word to interrupt the awkward silence, but I think the one who was a policeman in his country was thinking something like “did that tall white girl really just ask me that?” … awkward.   

Reminds me of a time when Jaime asked a black lady about how to do the hair of little black boys, explaining our adoption and that we didn’t know how to do “different” hair. The lady looked at her and then looked at her friend, and said with her head to the side, “different … did you hear her, she just said ‘different’” … the black lady was laughing but still … awkward.

The white guy writing this blog had an awkward moment our first day in Congo when he said inadvertently “Buenos Dias” to Peter who speaks French but no English (or Spanish!). Actually he had a lot of awkward moments attempting French, which he hopes not to repeat, with his wife to help keep him from speaking Spanish, and with a means of grace in a French phrase book I have now and an app on my phone that helps me with French. Awkwardness and embarrassment is actually a good remedy to pride and the illusion of adequacy we have at times.

I look forward to seeing how God will grow us and humble us outside our comfort zone again, as we depend on Christ, knowing we are never adequate in ourselves, only Christ is (2 Cor. 3:4-5).      

May This Journey Bring a Blessing

Phil and Jaime are on their way to Congo.  As I type, they are on an airplane headed to Washington D.C.  From there, they will fly to Ethiopia and then on to Lubumbashi, Congo.  It is a LONG trip.  They go with happy hearts, though.  God has been so gracious, as you know. 

They carry with them 7 huge bags... but not because they are taking much of their own belongings, but because so many of you have graciously given gifts to the orphanage and Pastor Didier's family!  It is so exciting to see the body of Christ be so generous.

Georgia and Adam said good-bye to their mom and dad just before they headed to the aiport (Ella and Annalee were staying at a friend's house).

Driving away...

They hope and pray that their "journey will bring a blessing" as the words say in that Getty song, "Jesus Draw Me Ever Nearer."  Phil said they have been humming this song today as they started their journey and asked me to post the words. 

Jesus Draw Me Ever Nearer

Jesus draw me ever nearer
As I labor thro' the storm
You have called me to this passage
And I'll follow tho' I'm worn

May this journey bring a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my heart's testing
With Your likeness let me wake

Jesus guide me thro' the tempest
Keep my spirit staid and sure
When the midnight meets the morning
Let me love You even more

May this journey be a blessing
May I rise on wings of faith
And at the end of my heart's testing
With Your likeness let me wake

Let the treasures of the trial
Form within me as I go
And at the end of this long passage
Let me leave them at Your throne

Jesus draw me ever nearer
Jesus draw me ever nearer
Jesus draw me ever nearer to You
To You

One Month Ago

Exactly one month ago today I buried my son Mark Joseph Layton in Lubumbashi. It was a simple graveside service, not the type of memorial service one might have in America where pictures might be shown in a slide show. What pictures would I have liked to show of this precious boy we'll never forget? Here is a short picture tribute:

When he received the last name Layton (5/22/2011)

Coming home from the hospital, held by Annie

With Didier's family that first week

At 2 weeks old

With Mama Angelique and Kara

At 2 months

Being cared for by Annie

Tomorrow I get on a plane to fly back to Lubumbashi, something I could not have imagined at the time. As I knelt and kissed and embraced the little coffin, it was as if the Lord knelt and did the same for me.

 
To be continued ...

One of Many Answered Prayers!!

Passports back in our possesion!! With Visa stamp inside.  Done. check!