More sights and insights on my adoption journey

Today (Thursday) Matteus woke up at 6:30 in a good mood. He’s been having his sad and emotional moments and meltdowns more last few days, increasing in frequency and fervency, some of which I’m sure is due to lots of changes for a little guy and being alone with a new papa he’s not sure he can trust yet. My new Congolese friend Paul said today that this is just like us and God – we whine many times for no good reason and reveal our lack of trust of our Father who has done nothing but good for us and is far better than any earthly dad. We also talked about how cute Matteus is and yet to God, we were not cute in our sin – there was nothing desirable about us when God chose to adopt us. We were rebellious, far more rebellious than any earthly child, and yet God loved us and adopted us and continued to love us despite our fluctuating emotions and it is only the love of that Abba in heaven that enables us to love as He did.




I think my son hasn’t had much parenting for much of his first 2 years of life, which makes my work cut out for me as a solo parent for 2 more weeks. Now that the newness of the new dad wears off for my son, the sin is coming out more and more, but God’s grace will be sufficient, I know (and I know I am insufficient). What makes it more difficult for both of us is the language barrier; the 10 Swahili words I know don’t help with whatever he is having a hard time with. Today I had one of my hardest hours as a parent. Please pray for wisdom and grace tomorrow, and also some fatherly creativity with nowhere to go for the next 3 full days as we await Monday’s appointment. But other than that, this was a good day overall the other 23 hours. Right now the precious fella is snoring next to me and I praise the Lord and trust His future grace.

PRAISE... The Greene family offered to take Phil and Matteus in for the weekend, again!  Thank you Greene's!!!



Thursday began with breakfast downstairs in the guest house, which is included in the price for the room. It’s bread with various spreads, papaya, and sardines. I stuck to the café (coffee) but Matteus scarfed down the stinky fish at an efficient rate after I removed the bones. The only thing I’ve seen him eat faster is plantains (note to mom for later). Another note to mom is that he likes oatmeal without fruit in it, and anything other than oatmeal he spits out or pulls out of his mouth and throws it (I worked with him to at least put it in the bag, lots of re-training to do). Good news is I did have 2 successful kuyamba trips with him and his pot today. It may sound sacrilegious to praise the Lord for things like that, but I am thankful to God (and we’re told to be thankful in all things :)



Mid-morning I took videos of Matteus saying “I love you mommy” and equivalent ones for each of his siblings. I can get an internet signal in the hallway sometimes so I downloaded the video clips to my laptop and emailed them one-by-one via super-slow-speed internet in-between a game of kickball with Matteus using a little ball that lights up. It’s a big hit with him and well worth every penny of the $2 I spent at WalMart for it. I also was able to download the messages from last Sunday at my church and listened to the Jews for Jesus speaker while Matteus watched Boz the green bear who loves to share on my laptop.



The biggest event today was our document drop-off at the embassy, which went well. I got to finally meet Danielle, who has been so helpful from afar, and went through my dossier and files and applications for Visa and I600. The actual Visa interview takes place Monday afternoon with the consul Brooke, who I met in Lubumbashi last month.



Then Paul and I took Matteus to the doctor for his medical exam that the embassy requires as part of the exit process. Matteus’ only experience with the medical profession was mean nurses in Lubumbashi who didn’t seem to care for orphans (Josie can tell you stories) and who stuck them with needles, so he was not a happy camper with the feared people in white coats today, but we survived, and he fell asleep in my arms on the walk home.



Then I stopped by CAA my best friends (not) and bought my return ticket to Lubumbashi next Tuesday morning. CAA is the only inter-country airline. You can fly on other airlines like Ethiopian, but you have to spend the night in the Ethiopian capitol and it is $817 one-way to travel from Kinshasa to Lubumbashi (less than 2 hours direct flight)! I will stay in Lub through the following week, whenever the Visa and I600 is, Lord-willing, approved. It is much cheaper and better to stay there for many reasons. Please pray for Didier who also applied for his Visa this week in Zambia to come to the States.

PRAISE... Didiers Visa was issued, with no problems.  He should be back in Lub when Phil gets there next week!

Jaime wrote last week that in Congo people don’t stare at us white folk like she thought they would (or even as we might expect in some all-black neighborhoods of the U.S.). I need to modify that observation somewhat for when I’m carrying Matteus. It’s not uncommon to see Asians and Europeans around town here (or even a married couple), but what is a very uncommon sight is a non-African carrying an African child. I do get stares with Matteus as opposed to when I walked around without him last week. In Kinshasa, I am quite a sight in the inner city. Normally the mamas carry babies or toddlers but always in a native wrap on their back. To see a tall white man with a baby carrier pack on the front with a black boy chest-to-chest gets me looks and comments everywhere I go.



In the deep downtown yesterday, some of the fellas on the street corner shouted out, “hey, how did that white man give birth to a black boy who is so beautiful, huh?” I just kept walking and later my interpreter told me what they said. At another point some policemen were yelling for us to stop so they could hassle us but my interpreter and I just kept walking (as fast as I could with my healing hamstring :). Another said, “You are so tall you need to be careful not to drop the baby, it would be too far,” or something like that in Lingala, the default dialect here. One lady asked me to buy her a soft-drink, and another lady just kept saying “God bless you.” Many people have given approving smiles and some at the airport customs lines last week said thank you very much for taking one of our Congolese orphans. Last time we were here, one airport official asked Josie and Gabe and me if we wanted to take one of his children, too (we assumed he was kidding, but we’re not certain). There are other things people have said or shouted in the inner city that Paul chose not to translate for me, which is fine with me.



Paul my spiritually insightful friend pointed out that when God came adopting us many people made comments and there were mixed responses, but He came and carried us, not because we were like Him, but because of His love. He gave up the comforts of where He lived to come to a distant land to bring us to Himself in a far greater way than anything we experience. God was infinitely different than us (human differences are only skin-deep and cultural) and yet God did this for us and He changes our heart and gives us His very nature. The gospel parallels and platform are manifold on this journey, and I praise God for this brother in the gospel who’s helped me so much these last 2 days, including these encouraging thoughts. I “just happened” to meet him at church Sunday, but I know I could not have made it the last couple days without him on several fronts (and God knew that, too, so I praise Him for His providence).



To take a taxi on a route (public with other passengers) costs less than 50 cents per person, so it is refreshing to find something inexpensive here for a change. When I bought lunch for myself and my translator in an informal cafeteria (rice with beef and sauce and 2 soft-drinks) I was surprised to see the bill was $30! I’ve decided to stick to the stuff I packed and maybe try some of the REI instant meals now that I have electricity to heat up water in a pot in the luggage I was without for a few days. Have I mentioned I’m praising the Lord to have my bag back?



For the times I had to walk today (Thursday) I decided to have Paul my Congolese escort carry the baby around, and we didn’t get any stares or comments or hassle while we walked all around town with Matteus. By the way, that is another praise to add to yesterday’s praise report: just 2 days ago I could not have walked all the places I needed to walk to yesterday. But God’s providential kindness has seen fit to heal me just enough to walk where we needed to yesterday and to walk just fast enough to not be hit by the cars! One of our jokes the first time we came was that when Didier crosses the streets he walks, but us Americans with him run across the street! Yesterday I galloped when I needed to, and maybe the cars who normally don’t stop for anyone had compassion on the semi-crippled Caucasian? At any rate, I am safe and sound this evening and planning to be sound asleep soon.



Sorry no pics today – you can’t really take pics in Kinshasa (yesterday’s were Stuarts he took but got in trouble, which I hope to avoid :) My son is sweetly sleeping next to me while I type and I need some rest myself, so this is all for now.